


The Dangling Conversation

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Scenarios de par Liaisons [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-21
Updated: 2011-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-27 17:25:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/298248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“How could I possibly think I was talented enough to be in the elite Behavioral Analysis Unit?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dangling Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR IN NAME AND BLOOD!!! This is #2 in the Scenarios de par Liaisons series. The title comes from the Simon & Garkfunkel song.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“What?” Emily turned away from the window. She had not been enjoying the night sky but was lost in her own intricate thoughts.

“You should have told me.” Hotch said.

“If we are going to have a conversation, I won't do it with you sitting all the way over there.”

He sighed. He got up from his chair and moved across from her. She could not, or would not, meet his gaze. Hotch swallowed the urge to command she look at him. She had been bullied enough.

“You could have told me, Prentiss.”

“Told you what, Hotch? Told you that the job I worked my entire life for, wanted more than anything, was a complete and utter façade? When would that have come up in conversation?”

“You are so good at what you do.” He replied. “I have watched you grow into one of the most talented profilers and agents I have ever had the privilege of working with. You are amazing.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head.

“It does to me.”

“You want to know what’s funny?” she asked as if he never spoke. “You and Gideon thought I was a mole from the very beginning. It was written all over your faces and in the words you said. You didn’t ask for a replacement for Elle Greenaway yet I show up one day with a box and a smile. It was not easy but I was there to do a job and I think I did it well. Then when we returned from Chicago, Erin Strauss called me into her office.”

“We all received engraved invitations.” Hotch said.

“I know that. I was informed that I could be a great help to the FBI. One day, with my drive and resolve, I could be a Unit Chief. Even a Section Chief if I played my cards right. All she needed was enough information to bring down Jason Gideon and Aaron Hotchner. I was new so no one liked or trusted me anyway.”

“I hope you didn’t believe her when she said that, Emily.”

She tried not to but Erin Strauss could be manipulative and very convincing. Emily was at a disadvantage because she didn’t know who she was up against. She only know Section Chief Strauss from afar…this was the first time she had been called in except when she was told she had the BAU job. She managed to get Emily right where it hurt, that vulnerable side of her that never felt it belonged anywhere.

She came close to caving from the soft-spoken hammer blows to her psyche. Things were happening in her unit that she didn’t necessarily think were being handled correctly. She trusted Hotch and Gideon to always do the right thing, they were good agents and good men, but it might be better to put some things out in the open. Then Strauss, too cocky in her abilities, cut off her nose.

“She told me that I had been hired for no other reason than to do her bidding. How could I possibly think I was talented enough to be in the elite Behavioral Analysis Unit? I had only gotten as far as I had on my family name. If I wanted to remain in the big pond, I had better align myself with the biggest fish.”

“Bitch,” Hotch muttered.

Emily spoke in a monotone but he knew how upset she was. All of her life she struggled to break free of her mother and father’s influence. The Prentiss name was something she was born with, not who she was. He understood what it was like to be the child of someone people thought was important. It was why he chose Fordham over the University of Virginia…it was why he rarely visited home.

“So you chose to resign instead?” he asked.

“I don't want it anymore…it wasn’t mine to begin with. You won't miss me; White Collar should keep you busy.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don't know.” Emily shrugged.

“I’ll miss you no matter what. I miss you right now and you're here.”

“Don’t, Hotch.”

“Don’t what?”

“You're trying to straighten out your marriage, your family, don’t be led astray. I have my own demons and you cannot save me. You can't save everyone.”

“It’s too late.” He said.

“You're just going to give up? That’s not like you.”

“I don’t want to work White Collar Crime. I love my job, I always have. I've made promises, I've broken them, I've…”

“Stop,” Emily held up her hand. “In a couple of hours we are going to be on the case. I think we should spend this time clearing our minds of everything but our jobs. It’s our last hurrah; let’s show Strauss what she about to lose.”

“Actually…”

“What?” Emily tilted her head a bit.

Hotch was caught off guard by how beautiful she was. He closed his eyes; thought of nights when he watched her sleeping and wished things could be different. He took a deep breath, coming back to reality.

“Our paperwork has been held up in a mess of red tape.” He said. “We are still in the BAU.”

“You mean a mess of Penelope Garcia.”

“I think so but can't say for sure.”

“Has anyone heard from Gideon?” she asked.

“No.” Hotch shook his head. “If he is at his cabin trying to clear his mind then the odds are low on getting cell service up there. I am going to drive out when we get back from Milwaukee. I am…”

“Me too,” she nodded, understanding.

“If he harms himself…” Hotch could not finish the sentence.

Emily fought the urge to take him into her arms and hold him close. They always felt safer when they were close. How did this happen? How had she fallen so much in love with a man she could never have. How had she learned nothing from past errors?

“Get the file, Hotch. I know you’ve probably been in touch with Morgan but I don’t know anything about the case.”

Hotch got up and grabbed the file Garcia gave him that morning. There was more to say but Emily was right, it was better to focus on the reason they were there. The job came before everything. So many personal sacrifices were made to be at the top of the game...a part of the elite BAU.

“We should eat something.” Hotch suggested. “Are you hungry?”

“No.”

“Emily…”

“You eat if you'd like. Give me the file please.”

She held out her hand and Hotch did as she asked. Emily pulled back quickly, shutting herself down emotionally and avoiding his touch. Nothing had changed; she was leaving the BAU. She would get away from politics, bullshit, and the married Aaron Hotchner.

She was only 35 years old; surely there was much life to live. Maybe there was even happiness on the other side of this madness. Real happiness, not false hope wrapped in dreams and lies. She could love again; she would live again. Right after she finished this one last case.

***


End file.
